For those of you DROOLING and KEENING and WAILING in anticipation for the start of my “1oo Most influential Books Evah” reading/blog project:
Houston, we can’t obtain the first book. Nice start, idiot.
I ordered “MiddleMarch.” I really did. Last Monday from Amazon.com…I promise you, I am not bullshitting. I waited and I waited and I waited…
Volly got her copy from the library sometime around Tuesday or Wednesday, which I should have done, but I owe them money. (TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT.)
Volly informed me that the book has 801 pages. SSSHHHWWWWHHHAAAAAAAAAA??????
Yesterday, while I was drunk at the Cubbie game, I received this email on my phone from Amazon:
“Due to a lack of availability, we will not be able to obtain the following item(s) from your order:
George Eliot “Middlemarch (Collins Classics)”
We’ve canceled the item(s) and apologize for the inconvenience. If you see a charge for the canceled item, we will refund you within 1-2 business days.”
Then I get a text from Volly and she says, “I finished the book! Loved it! (801 freaking pages and she started like 2 days ago.) Can’t wait for you to read it! No pressure! LOL“
NO pressure? Shit, man, I still need to GET the friggin’ book. She’s a rockstar. That is all.
Oh Man…now I am going to have to push through my hangover and head over to the library with my head down and my checkbook open.
Next time you hear from me, sometime in Spring or summer of 2013, I will have my first damn book report. Peace out, bitches.