I Once was lost, but now I’m found. June 18, 2008

Why?

Glen and Mar with The Swell Season at the Chicago Theatre June 15th, 2008

*Note: there is virtually nothing funny here. This is a seriously serious account of one of the most fabulous nights of my life.*

So, if you know me and regularly read this blog, you know two things:

(1) I have a slightly unnatural obsession and mad crush on Marketa and Glen. The concert the other night put Mike and I over the edge. We would star in the new TV show, “Swingtown” with them. Of course, we wouldn’t, but it’s the thought that counts. That, and, they would look at us and go “ew”.

(2) The last concert I went to, I was abused by a drunk young feck and cried in the bathroom because I am old and fat. (Please visit the Aunt Barbara thread.) I have since realized that I could be older and I could be fatter. All better.

(3) I have been in a little funk and have not really been inspired to blog as of late.

I am now re-inspired.

The show was the most incredible and emotional concert I have ever seen. I have seen a lot. Sorry, Stones, my #1 all-favorite band. You have just had your Start Me Up asses kicked by The Swell Season.

We brought my mom as a thank you for turning us onto the movie. After Once opened in theaters here, she begrudging gave up her copy to me, shoving it my hand and said you will fall in love with this BUT GIVE IT BACK. She almost broke her foot last week while sitting for my middle kid “Bambi”. She jumped into the pool to save her from drowning. She insisted on going to the concert ON CRUTCHES. She yelped when I suggested that she stay home. “WHAT? Are you KIDDING me?” If she were dead, she would demand that we drag her body to the seat and duct tape a glass of wine in her hand. Nice visual.

And let’s face it: we all were a little bit of a mess, me and my mental state was of course, the sloppiest. I was hit with a neurotic stick repeatedly for a couple of hours. From the very first song I was clutching Mike’s knee and smacking my Mother’s arm: “Oh my God, I LOVE this song! Oh my God, I LOVE this song! Oh my God, I LOVE this song!” Glen is hilarious. I would be laughing once minute and blubbering like a baby dropped on her head. I am a true idiot. Could it have been the Margaritas that the cocktail waitress kept bringing us? Perhaps. But I was Spongebob Drunk Ass absorbing the love in the room. Chicago Theatre is one of the most beautiful theatres on the planet. I have seen some pretty big names perform there for the last 25 years and they officially own that space.

And let’s talk about

Definition of Chemistry: ” Miraculous power of transmuting something common into something precious.”

They are both insanely charming in their own right.

They are both gifted and blessed with the upmost talent and that special something that makes people stop everything, shut their mouth and listen with all the power one can muster. And they are a couple. When Mike and I saw the movie at my cousin “Apricot” and …I don’t have a name for him yet..how about “Celinelover”? No, he would be pissed. Let’s call him “Coconut”. I digress. While watching the movie, I was shocked at how I reacted. I burst into tears watching the “Falling slowly” scene and was like “what the fuck?” I looked at Mike to laugh at myself, rolled my eyes to laugh at how stupid it was that I was blubbering like a baboon (Do baboons blubber? Or is it whales?) Then I realized that Mike was SO man-crying. I guess I was moved at the sheer beauty of the scene but maybe because, being a musician, it was so honest and in the moment and beautiful. These are the moments that I cherish when I perform, whether it’s in front of hundreds of people or when I am simply singing a lullaby to my kids.

The point I guess I am trying to make is that I don’t know if they are really a couple. That is the magic of the movie. [SPOILER ALERT – JUMP THE THE NEXT PARAGRAPH OR YOU MAY WANT TO SLAP ME IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE} It’s doesn’t have the neat, tie-it-up-in-a-bow Hollywood ending that we are used to…but you leave wanting them to be together. And, holy shit, they are really in love in non-movie life. You can’t make that shit up. You see it in every look they give each other. Every time they approach each other between songs and whisper something (like we can hear anyway, haha). It’s a beautiful dance and if they are indeed, not a couple, they have figured out that, shit, it sells CDs and sold out concerts because whether it’s real or a ruse, it’s romantic as hell. If it’s not true, please don’t ever tell me. It’s the ultimate documentary of love with a hell of a soundtrack.

Let me just wrap this nonsense up with two more things

(1). I loved their other tunes, not just the ones from the movie. The band featured some of the Frames members, including a guitarist from Chicago and Liam, the violinist was breathtaking. The gorgeous song Moon was insane, Marketa was mesmerizing and the acoustic closing of the show was knock-your-socks off brilliant. It’s true, I couldn’t find my socks after the concert.

Here is a really bad cell phone pic of the last number.

I didn’t even mind that we got home at 1:30am (I am sure that the band was still partying at their room at the “W”) and I woke up with a HELLA hangover with the baby at 6am.

(2) Marketa and Glen, if you ever read this, which you never will, don’t be scared. My fascination is harmless. Ever heard of John Hinkley? No. Nothing like that.

It feels good to be back.

Her Skin Grew Over the Seat… March 13, 2008

There is a very sad woman, who was just recently removed from a bathroom she has not left for over 2 years.

“A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat had a phobia about leaving the bathroom, the boyfriend said. ‘She is an adult; she made her own decision,’ said her boyfriend, Kory McFarren. ‘I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. (DO YA THINK???) But after a while, you kind of get used to it.’” Full article here

DUDE.

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I can’t even find the words to type how insane that is that he let her stay in there, sitting on the toilet. Bringing her clothes and food to her everyday. “They had conversations and had an otherwise normal relationship”…

People are FUCKED up.

On a lighter note, I love Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. He would never let her ass mold to the toilet seat. They are the Once couple and they are dating in real life.

I am slightly obsessed with them. I google them a little bit too much. My husband and I are in love with that movie and “Falling Slowly” has become our song. I promised Mike that I wasn’t going to blogtrash him if I started this blogging thing, but I can’t help it. He totally man-cries when we listen to that tune. And I don’t blame him – it’s totally emotional for us. For whatever reason, does an emotional thing to our souls.  Jesus, that is a stupid description. But seriously, I almost want to stop listening to it, to avoid ever getting sick of it. My 6 year old daughter is learning the song and I am accompanying her really badly on her $34 pink rock and roll ToysRUs guitar. It’s a kick ass version soon to be sweeping the charts over at youtube.com – look out for it.

There is a video of Glen and Marketa performing on Michigan Avenue and there is like, NO ONE THERE. There are maybe 2-3 people looking at them at the end, like who are those fucking people? Don’t bother me on my lunch hour.

Here is the link to the video…

What the FECK. If Mike and I knew about that, we would have not only been there, but we would have been FREAKING OUT. In a totally embarrassing and inappropriate way. We may have even tried to make out with them, I don’t know, but it would have been strange, weird and cool as hell.

I sang last night with a friend at Maxime’s downtown and I got home tooooo late. I woke up with my eyes fastened shut by my fake eyelashes. I was in my bra and underwear and I passed out still wearing my fake bling jewelry. It left little indented marks all over different areas of my skin. I am a hot mess and I need to go take care of myself before the girls think Courtney Love has now become their mother.